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Uniting the generations
This year, I became an adult orphan. Not only is there now one less person on this earth who loves and cares about me, but yet another link to my childhood and my past has been severed. As the eldest sibling, there is now no one who directly remembers what I was like as a baby or toddler.
Admittedly, in my particular circumstances, such memories vanished quite some time ago. My widowed mother having been afflicted with Alzheimer's disease for the past ten years, I had long abandoned any hope of uncovering more details of our immediate family history.
After losing their second parent, many people report feeling anxious at the realization that they have joined the ranks of the eldest generation, thereby becoming more aware of their own mortality – there is now no one between them and death. In my own family, however, the transfer of the responsibility baton took place while my mother was still alive, as indeed it tends to do in families battling debilitating long-term illness, where adult children take charge of caring for ailing parents. I had also become accustomed to mourning my mother's gradual loss mostly silently within, and so it was quite a relief for my grief to be acknowledged publically when she died.
Grieving for my mother has been quite different to my experience upon losing my father more than a decade ago after a short albeit brutal illness. Not having been given time even to try to accustom myself to the fact that he was ailing, my grief at the loss of my father was visceral and raw, whereas my mother's Alzheimer's tended to offer some protection, often cocooning me, as it did her, from the full brunt of emotion. After all, there had been plenty of time to say goodbye. Nevertheless, on occasion, the pain still manages to pierce my defenses.
Judaism recognizes the particular relationship between parent and child by allowing a longer mourning period. While the generally accepted time is 30 days, an adult child is notably expected to honor their parent's memory by publicly reciting a prayer, known as the Mourners' Kaddish, for 11 months. While the prayer itself actually has nothing to do with death, I have found this ritual to be cathartic, as it enables me to draw on the support of my community.
It was also a relief when shortly after my mother's passing, we decided to donate all the paraphernalia associated with her illness – wheelchairs and other medical aids – to the adult day care centre, which she had attended over the past years. As her world had narrowed, the centre had become her only source of companionship apart from that of immediate family and caregivers. It felt wonderful to be able to help others, while simultaneously removing the physical evidence of an illness that had nothing to do with her essence as a person.
When embarking courageously on the process of sorting through their parents' home and possessions, others might start with the wardrobe or kitchen cupboards. We, on the other hand, have been going through reams of newspaper articles, spanning five decades, which our parents and grandfather marked and preserved to discuss with each other, often providing a springboard for their own ideas. As I turn the yellowed pages, my past comes alive … until I hear my mother's voice whispering, "Find an interest to sustain you…"
At my mother's funeral, my youngest son recited the ancient, well-known verse: "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; … A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance…" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
On occasion such times overlap. Indeed, just three months after my mother's death, I find myself in the throes of preparing for the Bar Mitzvah of my middle son. While joy is somewhat tempered by loss, I recognize how blessed I am as a mother myself to see my child mature and begin to take responsibility for his actions.
For it is not all about me. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, colleague, friend, I exist in relationship to others too and must still consider needs apart from my own. At times, admittedly, compromise is difficult, and yet, it is grounding to remember, especially when feeling particularly vulnerable, that I am not alone and can look outwards rather than solely within, turning my focus to strive to contribute to the world.
My parents always put their children first, teaching us to be modest and ethical, to stand up for our principles and to make the most of our opportunities.
It is now my turn to transmit their rich legacy to my own children, providing a strong foundation for their future and uniting the generations. My children may not have had the privilege of growing up in the company of all their grandparents, but at the very least I can try to ensure that they will come to understand and even cherish the values by which their elders lived.
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Shira Sebban
Thursday, 14 November 2013
My take on what its like to be an adult orphan now published on On Line Opinion
Sunday, 10 November 2013
My article on finding meaning within Jewish community has just been published in Tell Magazine
Talking Point
www.emanuel.org.au
Building Community with Soul
I can no longer live a meaningful life without my Jewish community. My teenage son calls it an addiction. But my love for my community does not stem from mere habit, nor am I guided by compulsive need or blind infatuation. On the contrary, it has taken years of soul searching and trial and error to find the appropriate community where my family has been able to take root, grow and contribute.
Since ancient times, philosophers like Aristotle and more recently, Spinoza have argued that we are social animals. As Rabbi Hillel famously said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I?” (Ethics of Our Fathers 1:14) In other words, “All Israel are responsible for one another” (Babylonian Talmud, Shevuot 39A, Sifra Bechukotai 7:5).
The Talmud actually defined the type of society where scholars were allowed to live: The chosen city had to include a beit din (law court), an honest charity fund, a synagogue, public baths and toilet facilities, a mohel (circumciser) and a surgeon, a notary, a shochet (ritual slaughterer) and a teacher (Babylonian Talmud, San- hedrin 17b). As Rabbi Jill Jacobs, Executive Director of T’ruah: The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights, has ex- plained, “in order to be a suitable place to live, a com- munity must provide for all its members’ spiritual and physical needs” (www.myjewishlearning.com).
Yet, it was not until my own father’s death ten years ago that my longing for such community became so urgent. I had once asked him whether he would wish to be bur- ied in the same cemetery as his parents and extended family in Toronto, Canada. “We should be buried within the community where we live,” was my father’s reply. By that time, he had been residing in Melbourne for more than 30 years.
He was espousing the teachings of both Rabbis Hillel and Tzaddok, who urged us not to separate ourselves from the community (Ethics of the Fathers 2:5, 4:7). Indeed, Judaism teaches that those who are not prepared to feel their community’s pain and help out when the going gets tough, will not enjoy comfort in the good times either. As the Talmud warns, “The man who secludes himself from the community, which is in distress, shall not see the prosperity of the community” (Ta’anit, chapter 1).
A midrash goes even further, maintaining that removing yourself from the community is like overthrowing the world. It tells the story of the dying Rabbi Assi, who was depressed because although he had been a great scholar and kind and generous man, he had not been involved in communal matters or disputes. As he told his nephew, “I might perhaps have been able to render some service, had I not kept to myself but taken upon me the burden of communal affairs” (Midrash Tanhuma, Mishpatim 2).
I can no longer live a meaningful life without my Jewish community. My teenage son calls it an addiction. But my love for my community does not stem from mere habit, nor am I guided by compulsive need or blind infatuation. On the contrary, it has taken years of soul searching and trial and error to find the appropriate community where my family has been able to take root, grow and contribute.
Since ancient times, philosophers like Aristotle and more recently, Spinoza have argued that we are social animals. As Rabbi Hillel famously said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I?” (Ethics of Our Fathers 1:14) In other words, “All Israel are responsible for one another” (Babylonian Talmud, Shevuot 39A, Sifra Bechukotai 7:5).
The Talmud actually defined the type of society where scholars were allowed to live: The chosen city had to include a beit din (law court), an honest charity fund, a synagogue, public baths and toilet facilities, a mohel (circumciser) and a surgeon, a notary, a shochet (ritual slaughterer) and a teacher (Babylonian Talmud, San- hedrin 17b). As Rabbi Jill Jacobs, Executive Director of T’ruah: The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights, has ex- plained, “in order to be a suitable place to live, a com- munity must provide for all its members’ spiritual and physical needs” (www.myjewishlearning.com).
Yet, it was not until my own father’s death ten years ago that my longing for such community became so urgent. I had once asked him whether he would wish to be bur- ied in the same cemetery as his parents and extended family in Toronto, Canada. “We should be buried within the community where we live,” was my father’s reply. By that time, he had been residing in Melbourne for more than 30 years.
He was espousing the teachings of both Rabbis Hillel and Tzaddok, who urged us not to separate ourselves from the community (Ethics of the Fathers 2:5, 4:7). Indeed, Judaism teaches that those who are not prepared to feel their community’s pain and help out when the going gets tough, will not enjoy comfort in the good times either. As the Talmud warns, “The man who secludes himself from the community, which is in distress, shall not see the prosperity of the community” (Ta’anit, chapter 1).
A midrash goes even further, maintaining that removing yourself from the community is like overthrowing the world. It tells the story of the dying Rabbi Assi, who was depressed because although he had been a great scholar and kind and generous man, he had not been involved in communal matters or disputes. As he told his nephew, “I might perhaps have been able to render some service, had I not kept to myself but taken upon me the burden of communal affairs” (Midrash Tanhuma, Mishpatim 2).
When my father died, I did not know where to turn.
Although we had belonged to various Orthodox syna-
gogues in the past, my husband and I had not been able
to find a spiritual home since moving to Sydney some
years earlier. As a result, we had flitted from one synagogue to the next, sampling a different one on each Jew-
ish holiday but never feeling at home.
Nevertheless, I was touched when Rabbi Jeffrey Kamins, whom I had met in the course of my search, rang sev- eral times to see how I was faring. When upon the first yahrzeit (anniversary) of my father’s death, he offered me the Neuweg Shule for a memorial service, we finally made up our minds to join Emanuel Synagogue – after such generosity on his part, we believed it was the least we could do.
That sense of welcome, warmth and support through both tough and good times remain major factors in why we renew our membership each year. Judaism ensures that mourners do not grieve alone, stipulating that Kaddish, the prayer for the dead in which God’s name is sanctified, only be recited publicly in the presence of a minyan (ten Jewish adults – the minimum number required for community). Celebrations also become more meaningful when enjoyed together in community.
As our sons have grown older and undertaken prepa- ration for their Bar Mitzvah, our family has come to at- tend synagogue every Shabbat, even though this is going against the general trend – only 7.5 per cent of Australians attend religious services regularly. Our service of choice is Masorti: Integrating tradition with modernity, it allows us to sit together as a family.
This egalitarian ethos is particularly important to me as I do not have any daughters and do not want to sit apart from my husband and sons. Nevertheless, it was several years before I felt comfortable being counted in a minyan and agreed to be called up to the Torah. Not that there was ever any pressure on me to do so – our synagogue accepts a certain variety of Jewish practice.
It also gives us the freedom to question and acknowl- edges our right to consider different interpretations and viewpoints. As Robert Gordis, chairman of the Commission on the Philosophy of Conservative Judaism, has ex- plained: “Pluralism is a characteristic not only of Judaism as a whole, but of every Jewish school of thought that is nurtured by the spirit of freedom” (JTS: Emet Ve’Emunah: Statement of Principles of Conservative Judaism, 1988, Introduction p14).
Nevertheless, I was touched when Rabbi Jeffrey Kamins, whom I had met in the course of my search, rang sev- eral times to see how I was faring. When upon the first yahrzeit (anniversary) of my father’s death, he offered me the Neuweg Shule for a memorial service, we finally made up our minds to join Emanuel Synagogue – after such generosity on his part, we believed it was the least we could do.
That sense of welcome, warmth and support through both tough and good times remain major factors in why we renew our membership each year. Judaism ensures that mourners do not grieve alone, stipulating that Kaddish, the prayer for the dead in which God’s name is sanctified, only be recited publicly in the presence of a minyan (ten Jewish adults – the minimum number required for community). Celebrations also become more meaningful when enjoyed together in community.
As our sons have grown older and undertaken prepa- ration for their Bar Mitzvah, our family has come to at- tend synagogue every Shabbat, even though this is going against the general trend – only 7.5 per cent of Australians attend religious services regularly. Our service of choice is Masorti: Integrating tradition with modernity, it allows us to sit together as a family.
This egalitarian ethos is particularly important to me as I do not have any daughters and do not want to sit apart from my husband and sons. Nevertheless, it was several years before I felt comfortable being counted in a minyan and agreed to be called up to the Torah. Not that there was ever any pressure on me to do so – our synagogue accepts a certain variety of Jewish practice.
It also gives us the freedom to question and acknowl- edges our right to consider different interpretations and viewpoints. As Robert Gordis, chairman of the Commission on the Philosophy of Conservative Judaism, has ex- plained: “Pluralism is a characteristic not only of Judaism as a whole, but of every Jewish school of thought that is nurtured by the spirit of freedom” (JTS: Emet Ve’Emunah: Statement of Principles of Conservative Judaism, 1988, Introduction p14).
In addition to my synagogue, the Jewish day school my
children attend is another pillar of my community. Pluralistic and egalitarian too, Emanuel School welcomes
students of all backgrounds, who come together in mutual respect and are encouraged to work for tikkun olam,
making the world a better place. So committed have I
become to this philosophy that I decided to volunteer
for the School Board when my oldest son was in Year 1
and have remained actively involved ever since.
According to Rabban Gamliel, the son of Rabbi Judah HaNassi, “Those who work for the community should do so for the sake of heaven” (Ethics of Our Fathers 2:2). In other words, the early rabbis were urging us
to be ethical when we undertake communal work. As Rabbi Yehudah Prero explains, “We must act with pure intentions, with no ulterior motives” (“Community – Then, Now, and Forever, www.torah.org/learning/yom- tov/holocaust/no3.html).
Humility is also an important factor: The Talmud not only regards leaders as the “servants” of the community (Horayot 10a), but also stresses that they should always carry “a basket of reptiles” on their back so that if they “became arrogant”, they could be told to “Turn around!” (Yoma 22b). In other words, never forget that skeleton hidden in your closet!
Recognizing the frailties of human nature, the ancient rabbis resorted to divine reward and punishment as a means of encouraging ethical communal leadership: those who cause others to do wrong will not be “given the opportunity to repent”, while those who lead others to do good will be credited with their community’s merit (Ethics of Our Fathers, 5:18).
Sure, as Rabbi Yitzchak Blau has pointed out, the rab- bis did not think it fair that communal leaders should enjoy heaven while their followers rotted in hell, but is there really no hope of redemption for those who lead others down the wrong path? Here scholars disagreed, with some arguing that while God would not help the wrongdoers, they were still free to repent on their own. In contrast, the medieval scholar and physician Moses Maimonides is much more damning in his assessment: for him, there is truly no hope of salvation for such wicked leaders
(Hilchot Teshuva 4:1, http://blog.webyeshiva.org/tes- huva/inights-in-pirkei-avot-the-implications-of-causing- others-to-sin).
According to Rabban Gamliel, the son of Rabbi Judah HaNassi, “Those who work for the community should do so for the sake of heaven” (Ethics of Our Fathers 2:2). In other words, the early rabbis were urging us
to be ethical when we undertake communal work. As Rabbi Yehudah Prero explains, “We must act with pure intentions, with no ulterior motives” (“Community – Then, Now, and Forever, www.torah.org/learning/yom- tov/holocaust/no3.html).
Humility is also an important factor: The Talmud not only regards leaders as the “servants” of the community (Horayot 10a), but also stresses that they should always carry “a basket of reptiles” on their back so that if they “became arrogant”, they could be told to “Turn around!” (Yoma 22b). In other words, never forget that skeleton hidden in your closet!
Recognizing the frailties of human nature, the ancient rabbis resorted to divine reward and punishment as a means of encouraging ethical communal leadership: those who cause others to do wrong will not be “given the opportunity to repent”, while those who lead others to do good will be credited with their community’s merit (Ethics of Our Fathers, 5:18).
Sure, as Rabbi Yitzchak Blau has pointed out, the rab- bis did not think it fair that communal leaders should enjoy heaven while their followers rotted in hell, but is there really no hope of redemption for those who lead others down the wrong path? Here scholars disagreed, with some arguing that while God would not help the wrongdoers, they were still free to repent on their own. In contrast, the medieval scholar and physician Moses Maimonides is much more damning in his assessment: for him, there is truly no hope of salvation for such wicked leaders
(Hilchot Teshuva 4:1, http://blog.webyeshiva.org/tes- huva/inights-in-pirkei-avot-the-implications-of-causing- others-to-sin).
Admittedly, such threats have little effect in this day and
age when many of us do not even know whether we believe in God. Nevertheless, it is still possible to contribute altruistically to and derive meaning from community
based on religious civilisation. Masorti Judaism recognizes this position as valid: “One can live fully and authentically as a Jew without having a single satisfactory answer
to such doubts; one cannot, however, live a thoughtful
Jewish life without having asked the questions” (State-
ment of Principles of Conservative Judaism, p17).
My oldest son has commented that without faith, a prayer service is just “a group of strangers singing to- gether”. Yet, I have certainly discovered a sense of in- ner peace, spiritual uplift and intellectual stimulation through regular attendance at synagogue services and communal celebrations like the Pesach Seder.
Alain de Botton in his 2012 book Religion for Atheists wrote that the relevance of such religions as Christianity, Judaism and Buddhism “to the problems of community are arguably never greater than when they ... remind us that there is also value to be had in standing in a hall with a hundred acquaintances and singing a hymn together ... or in sitting at a table with neighbors and partaking of lamb stew and conversation, the kinds of rituals which, as much as the deliberations inside parliaments and law courts, are what help to hold our fractious and fragile societies together”.
De Botton – who was born Jewish but describes himself as a committed atheist – argues for the removal of religion’s “supernatural structure” before it can help solve “many of the problems of the modern soul”.
My soul, however, does not need to be quarantined from the full gamut of my religion in order to thrive. Indeed, I am quite happy to keep on exploring the laws and customs of my heritage and culture, practicing rituals and contemplating ideas from within Judaism. All I need is my community.
Shira Sebban is a writer and editor, a congregant of Emanuel Synagogue, and vice-president on the Board of Emanuel School.
My oldest son has commented that without faith, a prayer service is just “a group of strangers singing to- gether”. Yet, I have certainly discovered a sense of in- ner peace, spiritual uplift and intellectual stimulation through regular attendance at synagogue services and communal celebrations like the Pesach Seder.
Alain de Botton in his 2012 book Religion for Atheists wrote that the relevance of such religions as Christianity, Judaism and Buddhism “to the problems of community are arguably never greater than when they ... remind us that there is also value to be had in standing in a hall with a hundred acquaintances and singing a hymn together ... or in sitting at a table with neighbors and partaking of lamb stew and conversation, the kinds of rituals which, as much as the deliberations inside parliaments and law courts, are what help to hold our fractious and fragile societies together”.
De Botton – who was born Jewish but describes himself as a committed atheist – argues for the removal of religion’s “supernatural structure” before it can help solve “many of the problems of the modern soul”.
My soul, however, does not need to be quarantined from the full gamut of my religion in order to thrive. Indeed, I am quite happy to keep on exploring the laws and customs of my heritage and culture, practicing rituals and contemplating ideas from within Judaism. All I need is my community.
Shira Sebban is a writer and editor, a congregant of Emanuel Synagogue, and vice-president on the Board of Emanuel School.
Thursday, 7 November 2013
My latest piece on what it's like to be an adult orphan
Uniting the Generations
This year, I became an adult orphan. Not only is there now one less person on this earth who loves and cares about me, but yet another link to my childhood and my past has been severed.
By Shira Sebban
As the eldest sibling, there is now no one who directly remembers what I was like as a baby or toddler.
Admittedly, in my particular circumstances, such memories vanished quite some time ago.
My widowed mother having been afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease for the past ten years, I had long abandoned any hope of uncovering more details of our immediate family history.
After losing their second parent, many people report feeling anxious at the realization that they have joined the ranks of the eldest generation, thereby becoming more aware of their own mortality – there is now no one between them and death.
In my own family, however, the transfer of the responsibility baton took place while my mother was still alive, as indeed it tends to do in families battling debilitating long-term illness, where adult children take charge of caring for ailing parents.
I had also become accustomed to mourning my mother’s gradual loss mostly silently within, and so it was quite a relief for my grief to be acknowledged publically when she died.
Grieving for my mother has been quite different to my experience upon losing my father more than a decade ago after a short albeit brutal illness.
Not having been given time even to try to accustom myself to the fact that he was ailing, my grief at the loss of my father was visceral and raw, whereas my mother’s Alzheimer’s tended to offer some protection, often cocooning me, as it did her, from the full brunt of emotion. After all, there had been plenty of time to say goodbye.
Nevertheless, on occasion, the pain still manages to pierce my defenses.
Judaism recognizes the particular relationship between parent and child by allowing a longer mourning period. While the generally accepted time is 30 days, an adult child is notably expected to honor their parent’s memory by publicly reciting a prayer, known as the Mourners’ Kaddish, for 11 months.
While the prayer itself actually has nothing to do with death, I have found this ritual to be cathartic, as it enables me to draw on the support of my community.
It was also a relief when shortly after my mother’s passing, we decided to donate all the paraphernalia associated with her illness – wheelchairs and other medical aids – to the adult day care center, which she had attended over the past years.
As her world had narrowed, the center had become her only source of companionship apart from that of immediate family and caregivers.
It felt wonderful to be able to help others, while simultaneously removing the physical evidence of an illness that had nothing to do with her essence as a person.
When embarking courageously on the process of sorting through their parents’ home and possessions, others might start with the wardrobe or kitchen cupboards. We, on the other hand, have been going through reams of newspaper articles, spanning five decades, which our parents and grandfather marked and preserved to discuss with each other, often providing a springboard for their own ideas.
As I turn the yellowed pages, my past comes alive … until I hear my mother’s voice whispering, “Find an interest to sustain you…”
At my mother’s funeral, my youngest son recited the ancient, well-known verse:
Indeed, just three months after my mother’s death, I find myself in the throes of preparing for the Bar Mitzvah of my middle son. While joy is somewhat tempered by loss, I recognize how blessed I am as a mother myself to see my child mature and begin to take responsibility for his actions.
For it is not all about me. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, colleague, friend, I exist in relationship to others too and must still consider needs apart from my own.
At times, admittedly, compromise is difficult, and yet, it is grounding to remember, especially when feeling particularly vulnerable, that I am not alone and can look outwards rather than solely within, turning my focus to strive to contribute to the world.
My parents always put their children first, teaching us to be modest and ethical, to stand up for our principles and to make the most of our opportunities.
It is now my turn to transmit their rich legacy to my own children, providing a strong foundation for their future and uniting the generations.
My children may not have had the privilege of growing up in the company of all their grandparents, but at the very least I can try to ensure that they will come to understand and even cherish the values by which their elders lived.
In my own family, however, the transfer of the responsibility baton took place while my mother was still alive, as indeed it tends to do in families battling debilitating long-term illness, where adult children take charge of caring for ailing parents.
I had also become accustomed to mourning my mother’s gradual loss mostly silently within, and so it was quite a relief for my grief to be acknowledged publically when she died.
Grieving for my mother has been quite different to my experience upon losing my father more than a decade ago after a short albeit brutal illness.
Not having been given time even to try to accustom myself to the fact that he was ailing, my grief at the loss of my father was visceral and raw, whereas my mother’s Alzheimer’s tended to offer some protection, often cocooning me, as it did her, from the full brunt of emotion. After all, there had been plenty of time to say goodbye.
Nevertheless, on occasion, the pain still manages to pierce my defenses.
Judaism recognizes the particular relationship between parent and child by allowing a longer mourning period. While the generally accepted time is 30 days, an adult child is notably expected to honor their parent’s memory by publicly reciting a prayer, known as the Mourners’ Kaddish, for 11 months.
While the prayer itself actually has nothing to do with death, I have found this ritual to be cathartic, as it enables me to draw on the support of my community.
It was also a relief when shortly after my mother’s passing, we decided to donate all the paraphernalia associated with her illness – wheelchairs and other medical aids – to the adult day care center, which she had attended over the past years.
As her world had narrowed, the center had become her only source of companionship apart from that of immediate family and caregivers.
It felt wonderful to be able to help others, while simultaneously removing the physical evidence of an illness that had nothing to do with her essence as a person.
When embarking courageously on the process of sorting through their parents’ home and possessions, others might start with the wardrobe or kitchen cupboards. We, on the other hand, have been going through reams of newspaper articles, spanning five decades, which our parents and grandfather marked and preserved to discuss with each other, often providing a springboard for their own ideas.
As I turn the yellowed pages, my past comes alive … until I hear my mother’s voice whispering, “Find an interest to sustain you…”
At my mother’s funeral, my youngest son recited the ancient, well-known verse:
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; … A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)On occasion such times overlap.
Indeed, just three months after my mother’s death, I find myself in the throes of preparing for the Bar Mitzvah of my middle son. While joy is somewhat tempered by loss, I recognize how blessed I am as a mother myself to see my child mature and begin to take responsibility for his actions.
For it is not all about me. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, colleague, friend, I exist in relationship to others too and must still consider needs apart from my own.
At times, admittedly, compromise is difficult, and yet, it is grounding to remember, especially when feeling particularly vulnerable, that I am not alone and can look outwards rather than solely within, turning my focus to strive to contribute to the world.
My parents always put their children first, teaching us to be modest and ethical, to stand up for our principles and to make the most of our opportunities.
It is now my turn to transmit their rich legacy to my own children, providing a strong foundation for their future and uniting the generations.
My children may not have had the privilege of growing up in the company of all their grandparents, but at the very least I can try to ensure that they will come to understand and even cherish the values by which their elders lived.
Monday, 4 November 2013
My Tribute to my mother now published in the Sydney Morning Herald
Naomi Moldofsky: Passionate economist who championed freedom of thought
Naomi Moldofsky: ''Her writings will endure the test of time.'' Photo: Ian Davidson
A plaque on the door of Dr Naomi Moldofsky's office summed up her attitude to life: ''All men are created equal; it's what they're equal to that counts.''
Moldofsky worked as a lecturer and then senior lecturer in economics at the University of Melbourne from 1969 to 1990. She was a passionate teacher and researcher who championed freedom of thought and action within the rule of law. As she would often quote: ''One person's freedom ends where another's nose begins.''
She was privileged to discuss ideas with Nobel laureate Friedrich August Hayek and philosopher of science Sir Karl Popper, and was instrumental in getting Hayek to Melbourne in 1976. Professor Milton Friedman supported her membership of the classical liberal Mont Pelerin Society. Long-time colleague Maurice Newman, the former ABC and Australian Stock Exchange chairman, recalled their common belief in an open society and individual liberty. Moldofsky was only ''too aware of the dangers posed by centralised authority and conceited politicians'', he said.
''She opposed it always and everywhere. Her intellect and the rigour of her arguments meant she was a formidable opponent in a debate. That said, she was, no matter the provocation, unwaveringly courteous and polite. Her contribution to economic thought is of the highest order and her writings will endure the test of time.''
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Naomi Gross, born in Tel Aviv, was the first of two children of Berl Dov Gross and his wife, Chana (nee Cytrynowski), who had left Poland for Palestine in the mid-1920s.
Her father's laundry in Jaffah was burnt down during the Arab riots of the 1930s, leaving the family without an income. According to family lore, he went to the harbour, where one ship was leaving for South America and another for Australia. It was the eve of World War II and, fortunately, he chose the vessel heading for Melbourne. It was several years before he re-established his own laundry and could afford to purchase even one ticket, for Moldofsky to join him.
After matriculating from Taylors College, Moldofsky did a commerce degree at the University of Melbourne then won a research scholarship to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. She then travelled through Europe to Canada, where she met Sydney Moldofsky. They were married in 1958 and she began an economic history master's degree at McGill University, completing it just after her first child was born.
She then embarked on a part-time PhD focused on problems of economic development. Her second child was born before she completed her studies in 1968. She joined the University of Melbourne and, as an academic, found her calling. Her areas of interest included micro economics, comparative economic systems and Marxian economics.
Naomi Moldofsky is survived by daughters Shira and Leora and grandchildren Raphael, Gabriel, Jonathan, Ariel and Emma.
Shira Sebban
Naomi Moldofsky: ''Her writings will endure the test of time.'' Photo: Ian Davidson
A plaque on the door of Dr Naomi Moldofsky's office summed up her attitude to life: ''All men are created equal; it's what they're equal to that counts.''
Moldofsky worked as a lecturer and then senior lecturer in economics at the University of Melbourne from 1969 to 1990. She was a passionate teacher and researcher who championed freedom of thought and action within the rule of law. As she would often quote: ''One person's freedom ends where another's nose begins.''
She was privileged to discuss ideas with Nobel laureate Friedrich August Hayek and philosopher of science Sir Karl Popper, and was instrumental in getting Hayek to Melbourne in 1976. Professor Milton Friedman supported her membership of the classical liberal Mont Pelerin Society. Long-time colleague Maurice Newman, the former ABC and Australian Stock Exchange chairman, recalled their common belief in an open society and individual liberty. Moldofsky was only ''too aware of the dangers posed by centralised authority and conceited politicians'', he said.
''She opposed it always and everywhere. Her intellect and the rigour of her arguments meant she was a formidable opponent in a debate. That said, she was, no matter the provocation, unwaveringly courteous and polite. Her contribution to economic thought is of the highest order and her writings will endure the test of time.''
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Naomi Gross, born in Tel Aviv, was the first of two children of Berl Dov Gross and his wife, Chana (nee Cytrynowski), who had left Poland for Palestine in the mid-1920s.
Her father's laundry in Jaffah was burnt down during the Arab riots of the 1930s, leaving the family without an income. According to family lore, he went to the harbour, where one ship was leaving for South America and another for Australia. It was the eve of World War II and, fortunately, he chose the vessel heading for Melbourne. It was several years before he re-established his own laundry and could afford to purchase even one ticket, for Moldofsky to join him.
After matriculating from Taylors College, Moldofsky did a commerce degree at the University of Melbourne then won a research scholarship to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. She then travelled through Europe to Canada, where she met Sydney Moldofsky. They were married in 1958 and she began an economic history master's degree at McGill University, completing it just after her first child was born.
She then embarked on a part-time PhD focused on problems of economic development. Her second child was born before she completed her studies in 1968. She joined the University of Melbourne and, as an academic, found her calling. Her areas of interest included micro economics, comparative economic systems and Marxian economics.
Naomi Moldofsky is survived by daughters Shira and Leora and grandchildren Raphael, Gabriel, Jonathan, Ariel and Emma.
Shira Sebban
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/comment/obituaries/naomi-moldofsky-passionate-economist-who-championed-freedom-of-thought-20131104-2wwuo.html#ixzz2jkLolvJD
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